Reinventing Your Exit
Sometimes the gift is in the outcome - even if the outcome is different than you had planned
Back in 2021, my partner and I were doing a favour for a friend of mine by opting to drive his drumset from Los Angeles to Oklahoma. I had recently left a job with a month paid to take some time off and when the question popped up via an Instagram story, I figured, “Why not?”
Because my partner had a small SUV, we opted to take her car, so we drove up to LA from San Diego, picked up the drumset, and the next day or two we got ourselves ready to make the road trip out. We got through the San Diego County mountains and into Arizona when her car started giving warnings of low coolant, so we grabbed lunch and ate while her car cooled down enough for us to put new coolant in.
At this point, we swapped driving responsibilities so she could take over and drive for a bit. The hope was to get as far as New Mexico but it depended on the drive through the southern mountains of Arizona which I was unfamiliar with. We began the climb up into the mountain drive as the sun set and reception slowly fell off. A few hours later, her car gave a loud warning which I had assumed was the coolant again, but this time her car was saying to stop driving immediately. Not sure what it was, we pulled off at the first area we could see that gave us enough space to safely stop.
With no reception, no area maps loading, and the temperature dropping (it was January in the Arizona mountains), we attempted to sit in the car for a bit until someone pulled up to us and told us they weren’t able to see our car coming up over the hill behind us even with our hazard lights on. We attempted to move the car, but after having stopped the car would no longer start and we realised that if anyone were to not see the car, they would hit it—and us—and send us off the side of the road. So instead, we opted to take every bit of warm clothing we had and a blanket and find somewhere to reach out to someone or get someone’s attention driving by on this two lane mountain highway.
At this rate, reception was poor and we wandered around a small turnoff trying to get ahold of roadside to get a tow. Finally, thanks to a man named Bruno who stopped for us and let us use his phone and drove us to a general store (which had snow on the ground and was closed for the season), we were able to get ahold of roadside assistance to organise a tow truck (which, lucky for us, the driver was kind enough to drive us with the car even though we were told they technically weren’t allowed to).
And that is how we ended up in Show Low Arizona for three whole days as they found out what the issue with the car was (a seised water pump) and then awaited an ordered part. In that time we had buffet breakfasts daily, a bed in a heated room, and the ability to order some food for delivery from some places near by.
Once we were back on the road, we drove north towards Flagstaff with the intention of driving east the next day—only to notice there was something not right happening with the car yet again, this time in how it was handling. So the next day, we took it into a shop in Flagstaff and were told there was oil drastically leaking from the CV joint and that we would, again, need to order a part and wait for it to arrive. When we asked if we would be able to continue with our trip, they said it was highly advised that we don’t attempt to drive on it for any length of time without intending to replace it. So we followed their orders and instead staying in Arizona until the part came in and we were able to drive back home.
And so with that, we lost our main objective for this trip, which was to deliver this drumset for a friend still two states away. In the moment I was feeling a bit frustrated and disappointed that I couldn’t keep my promise to deliver it; However, what we got out of the trip was more than we could have imagined.
I saw the Grand Canyon for the first time (and slipped on some ice and busted my ass); we visited Sedona and did a sunrise hike followed by another hike later in the day; we visited Petrified Forrest National Park; we spent a couple nights in Flagstaff; we wandered around Show Low, a town I otherwise would have never known existed; and even though we were broken down in the cold and without reception, we danced huddled together to keep warm outside of a closed general store with snow on the ground. Above this, we were shown the kindness that still exists out there and how some people really are willing to give you a hand up when you are in circumstances that make you feel like you’ve been kicked down.
All of the things we experienced on this trip we would have never had the opportunity to experience otherwise. It was a chain of misfortunes that actually provided us with the blessing of memories that we will hold for our lifetime, and I wouldn’t trade any other outcome for what it gave to us.
Focusing on an outcome can be great. Sticking to the plan may be necessary. But there are times in life where you are given more than you could have wished for at the expense of the outcome and the plan. Sure it may not click until after the fact, but the truth is nothing happens that isn’t meant to; The easier it is to give up the idea of a perfect outcome or perfect plan and accept what is, the sooner you can appreciate what it is you are experiencing.
There is so much in life that we are given and yet we overlook the beauty or value of it because it isn’t what we were aiming for or it wasn’t how we envisioned things to end up. That’s just called life. And as we navigate this life, we—myself included—would do well to remember that we cannot control this universe that is forever flowing around us. We can control our actions and how we respond, but not always the circumstances themselves. So look at what is in front of you, put perspective on the things that have not worked out “to plan", and see the blessings in front of your for what they truly are.
Oh yeah; The drumset we were meant to be delivering? They had a friend who happened to be travelling through Flagstaff on their way out east with room to fit the drums, so we transferred them over to them. And my partner’s car? A week or so after this trip, the transmission gave out and she ended up selling the car back to the dealership she bought it from. Just glad that didn’t happen on the trip!